But be careful, he says. Although the title of his scholarly tome is Plural Marrriage for Our Times: A reinvented Option?, that does not mean he's advocating polygamy.
He's not.
Well, he kind of is, but only after great thought. And only in some specific situations.
Such as for career women who may not have the time or desire for a traditional family life. Or in cultures where there's a shortage of men. Or for the elderly seeking companionship.
It's an idea, he said, whose time came and went. Polygamy has a long, often successful history, going back to biblical times. So what he really wants to do is restart some serious discussion on the topic because he doesn't think anyone is doing anything about the breakup of the family. Why not, he asks, look at polygamy as an alternative, reshaping it for the 21st century?
"Part of our problem today," he writes, "is our narrow view of what constitutes a proper family form. My purpose is to argue that absolute monogamy and the nuclear family of husband, wife and children...should by no means be seen as the only or even as the ideal form of family life."
Indeed, Kilbride said during an interview, the prevalent societal mores that anything goes have led to a fracturing of traditional family life: rampant divorce, a high rate of single mothers and absent fathers, children bounced from one home to the next in an ever-increasing network of step-families. Surely, Kilbride says, there are some cases where plural marriage -- he dislikes the word polygamy because of its negative bed-hoppping connotation -- could be a solution.
"I don't want to come across as having myself resolved all the questions," he said. "But let's have some debate and reflection."
His own reflection on the question comes after nearly three decades of study in Africa -- where there is a recent history of polygamy and currently a discussion of its merits -- and of his research into the polygamous lifestyle that now exists among fundamentalist Mormons in America.
He has looked at plural marriages in which men, women and children live together, and those in which the women and children have separate households, sharing the man who is, essentially, without a permanent home. He has looked at polyandry (one woman and multiple husbands) and polygyny (one man and multiple wives).
In addition, he said, let's be honest: Plural marriages already exist in all strata of society. Men and women who remain married to each other while conducting one or more long-term affairs are, in effect, practicing polygamy. They just don't call it that. So why not legitimize it and come up with some kind of legal and spiritual contract?
Because, critics say, the church is against it. Because it has been against the law since an 1890 Supreme Court decision. And because, the prevailing view goes, it leaves men free to roam and women stuck at home.
"Feminists always ask me, am I suggesting plural marriage for only men?" Kilbride said. "I'm not. I can see many situations where a woman could profit by having more than one spouse. Plural marriage can be constructed to benefit women." One reason part of the title of his book is A Reinvented Option? is to acknowledge that polygamy of the past must be retooled to ensure female solidarity, he said.
As for religious teachings, he points to the polygamy outlined in the Old Testatment. And, he said, "Jesus says He is against divorce and remarriage and theologians interpret that to mean He is against polygamy. But not once did He ever explicitly state that it was sinful or unlawful to have more than one wife. It has only been by inference that we have come to that belief."
Kilbride does not deny that there would be many issues to solve; health insurance, property distributions, inheritance.
"They need very detailed thought by specialists from those areas to work out advantages and disadvantages," he said.
But nothing, he believes, is insurmountable.
Well, there may be one thing. His wife, Janet, is not completely enamored of her husband's thesis. "She doesn't share my ideas," said Kilbride. "She's not hostile to them. But she's just not ready to enter into a polygamous relationship."
Neither is Kilbride. As an anthropologist, though, he is well aware that what works for one person does not necessarily work for others.