Books on Polyamory and Non-monogamous Relationships

an ever-growing list maintained by Howard A. Landman

Most Popular Poly Books of 1998!

1. Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships, Intinet Resource Center, 1997

2. Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt, The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, Greenery Press, 1998

3. Lori Gammon & Bill Strong, Threesome: How To Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy, Triad Press, 1997

4. Barbara Foster, Michael Foster, & Letha Hadady, Three in Love: Menages a Trois from Ancient to Modern Times, Harper Collins, 1997

5. Adriana Blake, Women Can Win The Marriage Lottery: Share Your Man With Another Wife: (The Case For Plural Marriage), Orange County Univ. Press, 1996

6. Irwin Altman, Joseph Ginat & Sterling M. McMurrin, Polygamous Families in Contemporary Society, Cambridge Univ Press, 1996 (hardcover)

7. Robert Rimmer, The Harrad Experiment

8. Rebecca Wells, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, HarperCollins, 1997

9. Ryam Nearing, Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer, 1992

Some groups have so many books written about them that they deserve their own booklists:

• The Oneida Community

• The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)

• Other Communes

Biography and Personal Experiences

• Simone De Beauvoir, Adieux: a Farewell to Sartre, Random House, 1985

• Samuel R. Delany, The Motion Of Light In Water: Sex and Science Fiction Writing in the East Village 1960-1965, (reprint) Masquerade Books, June 1993 & Sept 1996
  An autobiography of the science-fiction writer's early years growing up, and then living in Greenwich village with his wife (poet Marilyn Hacker) while feeling primarily gay.
• Samuel R. Delany, Heavenly Breakfast, an Essay on the Winter of Love, Bamberger, 1997

• Rene Doumic (translated by Alys Hallard), George Sand, Some Aspects of Her Life and Writings, Associated Faculty Pr., June 1972 (OP 1973 textbook)
  Both relevant excerpts and the entire text are available online.

• Jennifer Gates, Survivors of an Open Marriage
  "a remarkable first-hand account of a decade-long open marriage ... sometimes graphic, intensely personal, and brutally honest" [H Abbott]

• Emma Goldman, Living My Life, vol. 1, Dover, 1930
• Emma Goldman, Living My Life, vol. 2, Dover, 1930
  "a graphic description of the labor movement in the United States; of the bitterly-fought battles and ensuing jail terms over free speech, free love, the right to birth control ... daily accounts of the friendships, love affairs, doubts, and joys of Emma and her revolutionary colleagues - overlaid on the canvas of major world events." [Kate Boris-Brown] "story of her life as Jewish immigrant, garment worker, feminist, anarchist, theatre critic, and yes, advocate for sexual and other freedoms far in advance of her age (and ours too?)." [Raju]

• Robert Graves, Goodbye to All That, 1929
  Goodbye to All That, Berghahn, 1995
  Goodbye to All That, Anchor, 1998
  Be aware that Graves severely edited this autobiography in 1957 to remove all references to his former life-partner, American poet Laura Riding. It was only restored after his death. Get an earlier (original) or much later (2nd revised) edition.
• Robert Graves, Watch the North Wind Rise

• Dan Greenburg, True Adventures, Freundlich Books, 1985
  Chronicles the exploits of Dan Greenburg (author of How to Make Yourself Miserable), engaging in various daredevil-type assignments for magazines such as Playboy and Esquire. The two chapters of most interest are "Orgies" and "Sandstone," which describes his adventures at the Sandstone commune back in 1976 (also featured in Gay Talese's Thy Neighbor's Wife). Oh, yes, he also investigated the sex ads in the back of swingers' and men's magazines, and discovered that they were all advertising for women wishing to send him dirty polaroids.
  One quote which stands out in my mind is from the "Orgies" article, in which Greenburg and his date visit a swingers' club in Los Angeles:
  "I hand [the doorman] a crumpled ball of sweaty dollar bills. He reaches for a card and asks our names.
  "'Uh... Linda Lyman,' replies Linda Leeman in a strange high voice.
  "'Dan Greenburg,' I gasp, not having the strength to even make it as far as Greenstein.
  "The man laboriously prints out our names, then turns to me. "'It's a soft swing,' he says pointedly.
  "'Uh, what?' I say.
  "'It's a soft swing. If a chick says no, don't push it.'
  "'Oh, all right,' I say, hoping to give the impression that I'm more used to 'hard' swings where, presumably, if a chick says no you throw her up against the wall, slap the hell out of her and rape her."
  [Anthony Pryor-Brown]

• Philip Greenspun, Travels With Samantha,
  Perhaps the first truly interesting web "book". Chapter 11 talks briefly about the time-shared poly relationships of "Sloper Girls" in Alaska. Chapter 15 discusses polygamy in Utah.

• Gerald Gunther, Learned Hand: The Man and the Judge, Knopf, May 1994 (1995 paperback)
  Considered by many to be the greatest American jurist of his time, Judge Hand remained friends for 30 years with a man who had a close relationship with his wife Frances.

• Dalma Heyn, The Erotic Silence Of The American Wife, Random House, June 1992 (reprinted 1993 & 1997)
  Investigates why married women in America have affairs, and what they want that their marriages aren't giving them. This book can be very disturbing as it calls into question many of the unspoken assumptions about marriage and relationships.

• Kerista Commune, Kerista Lifestyle Package Design and Experience Vol. 1 Book 1, Performing Arts Social Society, Summer 1984. ISSN 0743-3301

• Margaret Landon, Anna and the King of Siam, Buccaneer Books, June 1990
• Anna Hariette Leonowens, The Romance of the Harem, 1872 (reprinted Univ. Press of Virginia, 1991)
• Anna Hariette Leonowens, The English Governess at the Siamese Court: Being Recollections of Six Years in the Royal Palace at Bangkok, 1989 (1985 edition)
  These are all by or about the woman who actually married the King of Siam (now Thailand), leading to plays and movies like The King And I. There is some dispute about how truthful the books are; see the 1991 Univ. Press of Virginia edition of The Romance of the Harem (edited by Susan Morgan) for details.

• Mystic Life, Spiritual Polyamory, 2003

• Anais Nin, The Diaries of Anais Nin
• Anais Nin, Henry and June : From a Journal of Love : The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin 1931-1932, Harcourt Brace, 1990

• Gay Talese, Thy Neighbors Wife, Doubleday, 1980 (reprinted 1993)
  "a fabulous look at the history of intentional communities and sexuality and even pornography in this country. Discusses Onieda, Sandstone, others....Highly informative and entertaining. You may have to find it in a used book store; it caused quite a ruckus when it was published but also went out of print; the country wasn't ready to hear about this part of our collective history." [Patti]

• James Wharram, Two Girls, Two Catamarans, Abelard-Schuman

Non-fiction

• anonymous, Di ²Vunderlikhe geshikh²te fun Rabenu Gershom Meşor ha-Golah, oder ²Herem de-Rabenu Gershom, ²Varsha : M. ²Knas²ter, 671, 1911 (80 p. ;20 cm)
  Discusses polygamy and excommunication in Jewish law. Mostly in Yiddish.

• anonymous, Family Law: Report on Polygamous Marriage, H. M. Stationery Off. (OP)

• Leila Ahmed, Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate (buy)
  If you have access to Muse at Johns Hopkins U., you can read a review by Lahoucine Ouzgane from Postmodern Culture v.3 #3, May 1993.

• Aikman, Calamity Jane and the Lady Wildcats, 1927 (reprinted 1987)
  "The women of the pioneer epoch - say, from 1840 to 1890 - had their feet planted on a resonant drum of man's sexual necessity. They could choose the measure of the dance and the amount of noise to be exacted from creatures in a state of animal tension. Wifehood, polyandry, and an excused rapacity were open to the shrewd." - Thomas Beer

• Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Love Without Limits: The Quest for Sustainable Intimate Relationships: Responsible Nonmonogamy, Intinet Resource Center, 1992
• Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships, Intinet Resource Center, 1997
  An excellent book describing different possible forms of poly relationships.

• Paul Bailey, Polygamy Was Better Than Monotony to My Grandfathers and Their Plural Wives, Westernlore Press, 1940

• Laura L. Betzig, Despotism and Differential Reproduction: A Darwinian View of History, Aldine De Gruyter, 1986

• Theodore Beza (a.k.a. Theodore de Beze, Theodori Bezae Vezelii), Tractatio de Polygamia, Apud Io. Crispanum, Geneva, 1571
  Very early and extremely rare treatise (in Latin) on polygamy. There was apparently also a 1590 edition.

• G. S. Bhatt, Women and Polyandry in Rawain Jaunpur, South Asia Books, 1992

• Adriana Blake, Women Can Win The Marriage Lottery: Share Your Man With Another Wife: (The Case For Plural Marriage), Orange County Univ. Press, 1996

• Ruth Bleier, ed., Feminist Approaches To Science, Elmsford NY, Pergamon 1986 (hardcover)
  Includes: Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, "Empathy, Polyandry, and the Myth of the Coy Female"

• Marjorie Cahn Brazer, Well-Favored Passage: A Guide to Lake Huron's North Channel, 3rd Ed., Heron Books, Manchester, MI, ISBN 0-942603-00-1 (OP 1987 3rd ed.) (OP 1982 2nd ed.) (OP 1st ed.)
  Includes one section describing Major William Kingdon Rains and his "less conventional motive" for emigrating to frontier Canada.

• Peter Bretschneider, Polygyny : A Cross-Cultural Study (Uppsala Studies in Cultural Anthropology, No 20), Coronet Books, 1995

• Mike Brown, Sex, Money & Power: The Bible Shows You How
  "What your Bible teaches about Polygamy, and why your preacher and banker hope you never find out."

• Amity Buxton, The Other Side of the Closet
  "This book deals with couples - one of whom becomes gay/lesbian or bi - and there are many case histories. I would think that this book would be useful for those who are considering the possibility of starting a poly relationship." [Mark Alder]
  "If there was a reference to bisexuality in this book, I could not find it. ... This book leaves absolutely no possibility that a man might actually love and sexually desire his wife, but still struggle with being attracted to other men." [Kris R.]

• John Cairncross, After polygamy was made a sin: the social history of Christian polygamy, Dufour Editions, 1974
  See the online review by Samuel Chapman.

• Audrey B. Chapman, Man Sharing: Dilemma of Choice, a Radical New Way of Relating to the Men in your Life, William Morrow & Co., 1986 (1991 paperback)

• G. Clanton & C. Downing, Face to Face to Face: An Experiment in Intimacy, E. P. Dutton, 1975
  Amazon.com has this listed as being by "Gordon, Comp. Clanton".

• Remi Clignet, Many Wives, Many Powers: Authority and Power in Polygynous Families, Northwestern U. Press, 1970

• L. & J. Constantine, Group Marriage
• Larry L. Constantine, Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage, MacMillan, 1975

• Nik Douglas & Penny Slinger, The Pillow Book: The Erotic Sentiment & the Paintings of India, Nepal, China, & Japan
  Many of these ancient erotic paintings show acts involving more than 2 people. In particular, there are many MFF situations, which implies that the desire for such is not limited to modern American males.

• Lucile Duberman, Marriage and Its Alternatives, New York : Praeger, 1974
• Lucile Duberman, Marriage and Other Alternatives (2nd Ed.), New York : Praeger, 1977

• Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt, The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, Greenery Press, 1998

• Helen Fisher, Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce, Norton, 1992
• Helen Fisher, Anatomy of Love: The Mysteries of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, Fawcett, 1995
  "The evolution of mating behavior" [Todd Stark]
  "mating behaviors are shown to be ... instinctive, not learned." [Sid & Joan]

• Lorimer Fison, Kamilaroi and Kurnai; Group-marriage and relationship, and marriage by elopement, Australian Institute of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Studies

• Barbara Foster, Michael Foster, & Letha Hadady, Three in Love: Menages a Trois from Ancient to Modern Times, Harper Collins, 1997
  The authors have themselves been a triad for 10 years. This book has its own website.

• Mordechai Akiva Friedman, Ribui nashim be-Yi˘sraşel :me²korot ²hadashim mi-Genizat ²Kahir Yerushalayim : Mosad Byali²k be-shituf ğim Bet-ha-sefer le-madağe ha-Yahadut ğa. sh. ²Hayim Rozenberg, Universi²tat Tel-Aviv, 746, c1986 (23, 380 p., 80 p. of plates :facsims. ;23 cm)
  "Jewish polygyny in the Middle Ages: new documents from the Cairo Geniza". Found this in the catalog of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America.

• Lori Gammon & Bill Strong, Threesome: How To Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy, Triad Press, 1997
  Advice for a man, woman, or couple wishing to arrange a MFF menage a trois. Takes the viewpoint that most women have natural bisexual tendencies, but that these are easily squelched by inappropriate behavior from their (potential) partner. Mainly focused on the sex act itself, and doesn't spend much time on long term poly relationships. Still, many reviewers thought highly of the tips for women wishing to seduce other women.

• James Greenwood, Curiosities of Savage Life, S. O. Beeton, London 1863
  part 3 (chapters 9-11) covers courtship and marriage

• Sir Arthur Grimble, Return To The Islands : Life And Legend In The Gilbert Islands

• Solomon ²Hayyim Halberstam, Ta²kanot ²hakhamim :Taokanot u-gezerot asher tioknu ove-gazru rabane Iotalia...ba-asefatam bi-Ferara bi-shenat 314°im he°arot ove-haokdamot...Yitsohaok Barukh ha-Levi...u-Sh.z. oH. H...., Brody : Verlag & Druck v. B. Werbers' Wittwe, 1879 (16 p. ;14 cm)
  Unreviewed. In Hebrew. Found this in the catalog of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America.

• Peter Heck, The Joys of Open Marriage, Books for Better Living

• Hazel Henderson, Creating Alternative Futures: The End Of Economics, New York : Putnam, 1978
  Mildly poly-friendly. Mentions "communal units" vs "nuclear family" as characteristic of "soft" vs "hard" technology.

• Walter Matthew Gallichan, Women Under Polygamy, AMS Press, 1914

• Marjorie Garber, Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life, Simon & Schuster, 1995
  Has many examples of famous triads and other arrangements "in Bohemia and the avant-garde", including John Maynard Keynes. [Cheryl Kasson]
  "pathbreaking study of bisexuality as an erotic, social, and cultural phenomenon" [amazon.com]
  "The first important cultural study of bisexuality" [Boston Globe]
  "[Garber] argues ... that the opposition of heterosexuality to homosexuality, with bisexuality occupying some vague ground between them, is false. The truer oppositions, she contends, are between bisexuality and monosexuality, between an eroticism that permits attraction to individuals and one that permits attraction only to a specific gender." [American Library Association]

• Tom Hatfield, Sandstone Experience (intro by Robert Rimmer), Signet, 1976 (1981 paperback)
  About Sandstone.

• Eugene Hillman, Polygamy reconsidered : African plural marriage and the Christian churches, Orbis Books, 1975 (paperback)

• Robert J. Hitchens, Multiple Marriage : A Study of Polygamy in Light of the Bible, Doulos, 1987

• Varsha Joshi, Polygamy and Purdah : Women and Society Among Rajputs, South Asia Books, 1995

• Arno Karlen, Threesomes: Studies in Sex, Power, and Intimacy, Beech Tree Books, 1988 (1992 ed.)
  Primarily about three people making love, as opposed to anything broader, but has some good insights into the dynamics of multiples.

• Jonathan Ned Katz, Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the U.S.A., Plume, 1992 (revised ed.)
  "the work [delivers] a fascinating - and sometimes disturbing - examination of the evolution of America's acceptance of nonconformity" [Los Angeles Times]
  Some relevant excerpts are available online.

• Aidan A. Kelly (ed), The New Polygamy: The Polyamorous Lifestyle as a New Spiritual Path

• Mazhar-ul-Haq Khan, Purdah and polygamy; a study in the social pathology of the Muslim society, 1972

• Philip Kilbride, Plural Marrriage for Our Times: A reinvented Option?, Bergin & Garvey, 1994 (1994 paperback)
  See the review by Ralph Vigoda.

• Englebert Kofon, Polygyny in Pre-Christian Bafut and New Moral Theological Perspectives (European University Studies. Series Xxiii, Theology, Vol. 453 = Europaische), Peter Lang Pub., 1992

• Josef Kohler, On the Prehistory of Marriage: Totemism, Group Marriage, Mother Right, U. Chicago Press (1979 paperback)

• Ogden Kraut, Polygamy in the Bible
  "Biblical lesson in re-marriage, singular or plural."

• Kevin Lano & Claire Parry (eds.), Breaking the Barriers to Desire: Polyamory, Polyfidelity and Non-monogamy -- New Approaches to Multiple Relationships

• Johann Lyser a.k.a. "Theophilus Aletheus", Discursus Politicus de Polygamia, Henry Cunrath, Friburg, 1676
  "A scarce work on the virtues of polygamy by German minister and head-master Johann Lyser. Written at the bequest of the Graf von Königsmark, this work argued that polygamy was allowed according to biblical and natural law, and could lead to a higher standard of life. Publication of the first edition in 1676 led, in 1677, to legal action being taken against Lyser, and the book being confiscated and burnt. Owners of the book were liable to be fined."
• Nancy E. Levine, The Dynamics of Polyandry : Kinship, Domesticity, and Population on the Tibetan Border, U. Chicago Press, 1988 (1989 paperback)

• Roger W. Libby & R. Whitehurst, Marriage and Alternatives: Exploring Intimate Relationships, Random House, 1977

• Bronislaw Malinowski, The Sexual Life Of Savages In North-Western Melanesia : An Ethnographic Account of Courtship, Marriage and Family Life among the Natives of the Trobriand Islands, British New Guinea, Halcyon House, New York, 1929

• Ronald M. Mazur, The New Intimacy: Open Marriages and Alternative Lifestyles, Beacon, 1975
  Amazon.com has this as "The new intimacy: open-ended marriage and alternative lifestyles".

• Peter McWilliams, Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in a Free Society
  Describes the absurdity of making private, voluntary, consensual acts between adults illegal. Covers drugs, sex, relationships, and much more. Here's what he has to say about polygamy. If you want more, the entire text is available online from Peter himself; just click on the book title above.

• Leo Miller, John Milton among the polygamophiles, New York : Loewenthal Press 1974

• Lonny Myers, Adultery and Other Private Matters: Your Right to Personal Freedom in Marriage, Nelson-Hall, 1975

• Ryam Nearing, The New Faithful: A Polyfidelity Primer, 1989
• Ryam Nearing, Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer, 1992 (see the Loving More website)
  The best primer to help figure out "What is all this poly stuff anyway, and is it for me?". Many exercises and self-evaluation tests.

• Nena O'Neill & George O'Neill, Open Marriage: A New Lifestyle for Couples, 1972?
  An early book on marriage without strict monogamy.

• William Paley (Archdeacon of Carlisle), The Principles of Moral and Political Philosophy, Samuel Etheridge for J. White, Thomas & Andrews etc., Boston 1795
  Book III discusses polygamy right along with incest and adultery.

• Paul Pawlowski, Two men sharing one wife: polyandry study group report

• ?, Polyfidelity : sex in the Kerista Commune and other related theories on how to solve the world's problems

• Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips and Jameelah Jones, Polygamy in Islam, International Islamic Publishing House

• Summum Bonum Amen Ra, Sexual Ecstasy from Ancient Wisdom

• Manis Kumar Raha (ed.), Polyandry in India: Demographic, Economic, Social, Religious and Psychological Concomitants of Plural Marriages in Women, South Asia Books, 1987

• James Ramey, Intimate Friendships, Prentice Hall, 1975

• Paul E. Reimann (1904-), Plural marriage, limited, 1974

• Matt Ridley, The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature, MacMillan, 1994 (1995 paperback)
  "Because humans are in a perpetual battle with the parasites lurking within our bodies, we need to be able to change molecular locks as fast as parasites invent new keys. Sex enables us to alter genetic combinations every generation. Sex, then, is a vital weapon in disease resistance." [card catalog description]
  Chapters 6 and 7 discuss polygamy and monogamy (respectively) from a biological point of view. Has a good not-too-technical explanation of the "polygyny threshold model" on pages 184-186; this model gives a plausible explanation of why either monogyny or polygyny can evolve in a species depending on conditions. Be careful though; Ridley is very uncritical of his sources, and some of the information in this book is just wrong.

• Andrew Rigby, Communes in Britain, London & Boston : Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1974
  Covers Newhaven, Shrubb Family, Kingsway Community, Postlip Hall, and Findhorn.
• Andrew Rigby, Alternative Realities: A Study of Communes and Their Members, Routledge Kegan & Paul, 1974

• Carl Ransom Rogers, Becoming Partners: Marriage and Its Alternatives, New York : Delacorte Press, 1972
  Surprisingly little of use in this book, which is just a series of anecdotes and doesn't present much in the way of alternatives. Some polyam content but almost no polyfi.

• Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals
  Way ahead of its time, and still a classic. Has been reprinted many times and should be easy to locate used.

• Sidney Ruth Schuler, The Other Side of Polyandry : Property, Stratification, and Nonmarriage in the Nepal Himalayas (Women in Cross-Cultural Perspective Series), 1987

• Sarva Daman Singh, Polyandry in Ancient India, Motilal Banarsidass Pub., 1988

• Nick Stinnett, The Family and Alternate Life Styles, Nelson-Hall, 1978

• Tina B. Tessina, Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, Borgo Press & Newcastle Publishing Co., 1987

• Robert Thamm, Beyond Marriage and the Nuclear Family, Canfield Press

• Northcote W. Thomas, Kinship Organizations and Group Marriage in Australia, Frank Cass & Co., 1940

• Vatasyayana, Kama Sutra
  The classic Indian text on how to live a pleasurable life. While most westerners seem to focus on the sex manual aspect of the book, it spends more time talking about wealth, marriage, and the managing of relationships than it does describing positions for intercourse. Of course, much of the advice is on how to keep anyone from finding out; this book does not advocate open honest relationships. It's still useful because it's a perspective from the distant past, unaffected by modern western culture, and it treats pleasure as a Good Thing. Many translations are available, but Danielou's is by far the best.
• Richard Burton & Charles Fowkes, The Illustrated Kama Sutra: Ananga-Ranga: Perfumed Garden: Classic Eastern Love Texts, Inner Traditions Int'l, 1991
  This volume collects Burton's translations of three eastern love texts into one volume.
• Alain Danielou, The Complete Kama Sutra: The First Unabridged Modern Translation of the Classic Indian Text, Inner Traditions Int'l, 1995 (paperback) I highly recommend this version. All previous translations pale in comparison.
  "fluent and literal translation ... An important advance over Burton's Victorian abridgment." [Library Journal]
  "Danielou's new and complete translation of the Kama Sutra is one of his masterpieces. It is all enchantment, a world of refined sensation totally without humbug." [Times Literary Supplement]
  "first modern translation ... to include two essential commentaries: the Jayamangala of Yashodhara and the modern Hindi commentary by Devadatta Shastri. ... Danielou spent four years comparing versions of the Kama Sutra in Sanskrit, Hindi, Bengali, and English ... to preserve the full explicitness of the original. I wanted to demystify India, he writes, to show that a period of great civilization, of high culture, is forcibly a period of great liberty." [book description]

• Mary Ann Watson & Flint Whitlock, Breaking The Bonds : Realities Of Sexually Open Relationships

• John Warren Wells, 3 is not a Crowd, Dell, 1971?
  Tape-recorded interviews with men and women who have experienced menage a trois.

• Celeste West, Lesbian Polyfidelity : A Pleasure Guide for the Woman Whose Heart Is Open to Multiple, Concurrent Sexualoves, or How to Keep Non-Monogamy Safe, Sane, ..., Booklegger Press, 1996 (1995 paperback)

• Kimball Young, Isn't One Wife Enough?, Greenwood, 1970 (1973 reprint)
  unreviewed

Fiction

• Thea Alexander, 2150 A.D.
  "paints an interesting picture of sex and community in the 22nd century." [Patti]

• Isabel Allende, Eva Luna
  Includes a joyful poly subplot involving a pair of sisters and their cousin.
  "vivid and passionate and human" [Washington Post]
  "enchanted and enchanting" [San Francisco Chronicle]
  "highly visual and sensual ... much better and less formulaic than the House of Spirits ... set my imagination on fire" [Mary Masi]

• Wilhelmina Baird, Crashcourse, Ace, 1993?

• John Dudley Ball, Chief Tallon and the S.O.R., 1984

• M. A. R. Barker, Flamesong, 1985
• M. A. R. Barker, The Man of Gold, 1984

• Gael Baudino, Gossamer Axe, 1993
  "The central character remains completely devoted to her absent lover while lovingly having sex with several other people. A stable n>2 family is never formed." [Jennifer Broekman]

• Amy Bloom, "Love is Not a Pie" (short story)
  Does anyone know whether this appears in Come To Me: Stories, her collection of short stories?

• Giovanni Boccacio, The Decameron
  A classic collection of middle-ages tales, some quite lusty.

• Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Forbidden Tower, Severn House Pub., 1994

• Rita Mae Brown, Six of One
  "Juts and the religious Wheezie have not stopped squabbling for seventy-five years. When Nickel, the daughter of Juts ... goes off to college, writes successful books about her family, and then - to top it all off - buys her mother a new car with some of her earnings... Well! Wheezie can barely stand it and doesn't let Juts forget for one minute that both Nickel's books and her bisexual lifestyle are completely unforgivable, unless of course Nickel might want to buy her something?" [Jesse Larsen]
  "Celeste Chalfronte ... kills a man and marries a woman, sloe-eyed Ramelle Bowman. And when Ramelle has Curtis Chalfronte's child, no one bats an eye" [the publisher]
• Rita Mae Brown, Venus Envy

• Edward Bryant, Cinnabar, Bantam, 1977
  "a collection of short stories set in Cinnabar, the city at the center of time. ... not an incitement to revolution, but the depiction of an approach to sexuality - and many other things - radically different from the one my culture taught was a pretty big deal to the young, thoughtful, alienated adolescent I was, and it's still pretty nice. ... I think this book may have been my first conscious exposure to the idea of consensual, loving non-monogamy." [Jay Sekora]

• John Burdett, A Personal History of Thirst, William Morrow, 1996
  "Thanks to his talent, ambition, and careful molding of his public image, British barrister James Knight has risen far from his working-class background. He will soon "take silk" -- become a Queen's Counsel, the highest rank a lawyer can obtain. A decade earlier, however, Knight played on the fringes of acceptable society, experimenting with sex and drugs in a passionate affair with a daring young American and pursuing an illicit friendship with a brilliant but haunted thief named Thirst. Those relationships developed into a darkly erotic menage a trois. Now, eleven years later, one is dead and two are suspected of murder. As the investigation unfolds, so do the shocking secrets at the heart of this three-way obsession." [Just Books bookstore]

• Ernest Callenbach, Ecotopia, Bookpeople, 1975 (1990 reprint)
  A classic of environmental fiction. Washington, Oregon, and Northern California secede from the union to form an ecologically sustainable nation.
• Ernest Callenbach, Ecotopia Emerging, Bookpeople, 1981

• William H. Calvin, Unlisted: A Novel of the Internet Era
  The main characters are an MFM triad. "I'd discovered an advantage of polyandry: if one husband doesn't appreciate your attempt at sarcasm, maybe the other one will."

• Mark Canter, Down to Heaven
  "deals with the issues of male and female love for and from a hermaphrodite, with a polyamorous conclusion. ... thought-provoking ... and highly recommended" [Emmeline]

• Orson Scott Card, Saints, Tor Books, 1993

• Michael Cunningham, A Home at the End of the World, 1990

• Robertson Davies, Fifth Business, Viking, 1992
  "One day a boy throws a snowball, and the world changes." [Patrice Robertie]
• Robertson Davies, Leaven of Malice, 1994
• Robertson Davies, Lyre of Orpheus, Viking, 1990
• Robertson Davies, World of Wonders, Viking, 1977

• Samuel R. Delany, Babel-17, 1978 (OP hardcover) (OP paperback) (1982 reprint)
• Samuel R. Delany, Dhalgren
  In a world where even the laws of physics have gone somewhat mad, a stranger arrives in the nearly-abandoned city of Bellona and tries to find his place in it. He develops relationships with a woman and a boy, which are complicated by time not flowing at the same rate for each of them.
  "it is long, confusing, and full of 'perverse' sex ... but it is also filled with beautiful prose, interesting characters, and a stunning moebius loop of a storyline." [doctorfegg@aol.com]
• Samuel R. Delany, The Mad Man (1996 reissue)
  "explores parts of the human psyche and sexual appetite which seem nearly impossible to understand, yet carries the willing reader to a point of insight and self-identification which seems surprising at the start. At times revolting, titillating, and bizarre, it's an always-fascinating walk down a path which few will travel in real life." [Graham Ames]
• Samuel R. Delany, Stars In My Pocket Like Grains Of Sand, 1984 (1985 reprint) (1990 paperback)
• Samuel R. Delany, Triton: An Ambiguous Heterotopia
  A man living in a near-utopia with many choices of lifestyle still manages to make himself and others miserable.

• Dr. Wayne Dyer, Gifts From Eykis, Pocket Books, 1987

• Diane Duane, The Door Into Fire, 1984 (1985 paperback)
• Diane Duane, The Door Into Shadow, St. Martins, 1984
• Diane Duane, The Door Into Sunset, 1993

• Goethe, Wahlverwandschaften

• Andrew Harvey, Burning Houses

• Robert A. Heinlein, Beyond This Horizon, New American Library, 1997 reissue
• Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, Berkley, 1996 reissue
• Robert A. Heinlein, Friday
• Robert A. Heinlein, Glory Road
• Robert A. Heinlein, Gulf
• Robert A. Heinlein, I Will Fear No Evil
  "about an old man who is obscenely wealthy and arranges for his brain to be transplanted to another person's body before he dies, only to find out later that the host's mind is well and living on [in] the same body. ... a pretty interesting premise, made even more interesting [because] his new body is that of a beautiful woman. The whole book develops from his efforts to live his/her new life, and trying to cope with the fact that he is sharing the body with another person." [Ricardo J. Mendez]
• Robert A. Heinlein, Methuselah's Children
• Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Tor, 1996 reprint (1997 paperback)
  Won both Hugo and Nebula awards. One of Heinlein's best.
  "[a] gripping tale of revolution on the moon in 2076, where "Loonies" are kept poor and oppressed by an Earth-based Authority that turns huge profits at their expense. A small band of dissidents, including a one-armed computer jock, a radical young woman, a past-his-prime academic and a nearly omnipotent computer named Mike, ignite the fires of revolution despite the near certainty of failure and death." [amazon.com sci-fi editor]
• Robert A. Heinlein, The Number of the Beast
• Robert A. Heinlein, To Sail Beyond The Sunset
• Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger In A Strange Land
  A classic, one of the most influential works of the '60s. Introduced the concepts of "water brother" and "grok".
• Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

• John Irving, The World According to Garp

• Dipo Kalejaiye, Polygny ; and, Polyandry : two plays about marriage

• Donald Kingsbury, Courtship Rite [Geta in the U.K.]
  Takes place on a world where the standard marriage is a MMMFFF hextuple.

• Michael P. Kube-McDowell, The Quiet Pools, Ace, 1990 (1990) (1991 reprint)

• Milan Kundera, The Book Of Laughter And Forgetting
• Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

• Ellen Guon, Bedlam Boyz, Baen, 1993
  A prequel to the next two books.
• Mercedes Lackey & Ellen Guon, A Knight of Ghosts and Shadows, Baen, 1992 reissue
  "Urban fantasy". Elves in Los Angeles?
  "Features a 2M-1F triad. The story of how they ended up being a triad. The woman responds to being told that she'll clearly have to choose between them." [Jennifer Broekman]
• Mercedes Lackey & Ellen Guon, Summoned to Tourney
  The elves go to San Francisco, but it's doomed to sink underwater.
  "Same 2M-1F triad as above. Some of their later adventures. Love for the other two pulls each of the three through pain/depression/etc." [Jennifer Broekman]
  The titles of these two books are taken from the anonymous Tom O' Bedlam's Song: "By a knight of ghosts and shadows / I summoned am to tourney / Ten leagues beyond the wide world's end. / Methinks it is no journey."

• D.H. Lawrence, The Rainbow (library edition)
• D.H. Lawrence, Women In Love, Signet, 1995 paperback (1996 hardcover) (1996 paperback)

• Ursula K. LeGuin, "Another Story: A Fisherman of the Inland Sea", in A Fisherman of the Inland Sea, HarperPrism, 1994. (1995 paperback) First published in Tomorrow, Aug 1994.
  Takes place in a society where the standard marriage arrangement is a square MMFF foursome, in which each person has one heterosexual and one homosexual sex partner but never has sex with the other (heterosex) partner.

• Doris May Lessing, The Marriages Between Zones Three, Four, and Five (as narrated by the chroniclers of zone three), Knopf

• Elizabeth Lynn, The Dancers of Arun, 1986
• Elizabeth Lynn, A Different Light, 1987
• Elizabeth Lynn, The Sardonyx Net, 1981 (1985 reprint)

• Vonda McIntyre, Starfarers, 1994
• Vonda McIntyre, Transition
• Vonda McIntyre, Metaphase
• Vonda McIntyre, Nautilus, Bantam, 1994
  The Starfarers series, which Ursula LeGuin called "the most important series in science fiction", comprises these four books. You can also order Vonda's books (and those of many other SF writers) directly from the author at Basement Full Of Books. This includes many Out-Of-Print or otherwise hard to find items.

• Larry McMurtry, Leaving Cheyenne
  "An unforgettable tale of a love triangle that spans a generation" [amazon.com]
  "Leaving Cheyenne is a book that never completely leaves your mind. The characters are sketched so vividly by Mr. McMurtry that Johnny, Gid, and Molly seem like childhood friends." [Elfie3@aol.com]
  "A rarity ... funny, wonderful, heartbreaking, exhilarating." [New York Times]

• Somerset Maugham, Cakes and Ale: or, The Skeleton in the Cupboard
  "A novelist, Ashenden is befriended by the ambitious, self-serving Alroy Kear, who has been commissioned to write an official biography of the famous novelist Edward Driffield. Kear believes that he must ignore the less than noble aspects of his subject's life in order to write a best-seller. Driffield's first wife, Rosie - vital, open-hearted, generous, but too amoral to fit into Kear's narrow understanding of human behavior - is the cupboard skeleton of the subtitle." [Merriam-Webster Encylopedia of Literature]

• Shirley Meier, Shadow's Daughter
  Fantasy.

• Vladimir Nabokov, Ada, or Ardor at Ardis: a Family Chronicle
  Reading Nabokov is like climbing a mountain. It's hard work, you're gasping for breath by the time you reach the top, but Oh! What a view!
  "Only Nabokov would have the audacity to try to write a literary masterpiece around a simple - even simplistic - plot of youthful incest, and the skill to pull it off in such a brilliant fashion." [pjpj@colomsat.net.co]

• Isidore Okpewho, The Victims: A Novel of Polygamy in Modern Africa

• Maxine Paetro, Manshare, 1986 (1987 paperback)

• David Palmer, Emergence, 1990

• Marge Piercy, The High Cost of Living, 1977
• Marge Piercy, Woman on the Edge of Time
  A woman with a history of mental problems finds herself in contact with people living in the far future, which is a lot more poly-friendly than the present.
  "I had a lot of trouble identifying with the heroine, who is stupid, impulsive, and often violent." [Howard]
• Marge Piercy, Summer People
  A 10-year-old triad falls apart due to misunderstandings. Can they patch it up? Very well-drawn characters with believable (if sometimes foolish) thoughts and feelings.

• Robert Rimmer, Come Live My Life
• Robert Rimmer, The Harrad Experiment
  Rimmer's most influential work. An ivy league college (Harrad = HARvard+RADcliffe?) experiments with having college freshmen share dorm rooms with members of the opposite sex, while at the same time studying about relationships. The intent is to produce people capable of more open and honest loving.
• Robert Rimmer, The Immoral Reverend
• Robert Rimmer, The Love Exchange
• Robert Rimmer, Premar Experiments
• Robert Rimmer, Proposition 31
• Robert Rimmer, The Rebellion of Yale Marrat
• Robert Rimmer, Thursday My Love

• Elizabeth Scarbourough, The Harem of Aman Akbar: or the Djinn Decanted

• Melissa Scott, The Empress of Earth
• Melissa Scott, The Five-Twelfths of Heaven, 1985 (1990 reprint)
• Melissa Scott, Silence in Solitude, Baen, 1990 reissue

• Starhawk, The Fifth Sacred Thing

• S. M. Stirling, Snow Brother, Baen, 1992
• S. M. Stirling & Shirley Meier, The Cage, Baen, 1994 reissue
• S. M. Stirling & Shirley Meier, Saber and Shadow, Baen, 1992

• Robert Sward, A Much-Married Man (a review) (excerpts and ordering)
  Not so much about poly, but appears to have some good things to say about making relationships last. And the main character is still friends with his ex-wives ...

• John Varley, Titan, Ace, 1992 reissue
• John Varley, Wizard
• John Varley, Demon, 1984
  These three books make up Varley's "Gaia" trilogy.
• John Varley, "The Persistance of Vision" (short story) (collection)
  A commune of blind people develops its own social standards about sex.

• Joan D. Vinge, The Outcasts of Heaven Belt, 1982

• Alice Walker, The Temple of My Familiar

• Irving Wallace, The Twenty-seventh Wife, 1961

• Karen Wehrstein, Lion's Heart, 1991
• Karen Wehrstein, Lion's Soul, 1991

• Kate Wilhelm, Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang
• Kate Wilhelm, Forever Yours, Anna (short story, available in her book And the Angels Sing)
  This beautifully crafted story won the 1988 Nebula award.